I read my first post, it’s bullshit. I should just tell my story and explain what I’ve been through and why I feel the urge to talk to someone. And because there’s no one in my life, I guess a blog is better than nothing.

I was raised a catholic, and, like so many other kids in the US, went to church every week. My parents are narrow-minded bigots. I don’t really buy their shit but for some obscure reason I’ve always had some kind of Christian faith.

When I was a teenager, I chose to be straight edge… it seemed to be the right choice: I needed to believe in something and Church didn’t give me the answers I was looking for. I was really into veganism and environmentalism. It was also important to maintain control of my life. So no alcohol, no cigarettes, no drugs, no promiscuous sex sounded right to me.



Well blah, blah, blah, after a few years, I was no longer a kid and I was still looking for guidelines and meaning in my life. I knew my ideologies were good but they didn’t take me anywhere: I wasn’t really in control of my life and I was scared of the future, especially the future of our planet that gets trashed a little bit more every day. I felt very lost. So I decided - well not really ‘decided’, it just happened somehow - to enter the OSCS.

To make a long story short, the OSCS is the acronym for Order of the Sacred Cross of Samarie. It was created by James P. Boyles in 1959 and has been run by his wife Eileen Fisher Boyles since he died.

Anyway they presented the doctrine and founding principles in such ways that, at that time, it seemed like the perfect mix of all my beliefs: prayer, purity, strict abstinence (I had no girl friend anyway), no meat, looking beyond earthly pleasures, blah blah blah…

Just like the effect John the Baptist had on people in his time, the OSCS succeeded in having a great power over me…. But, unfortunately, not in the right way: they just fucked me up!



A real lobotomy, believe me. I’m glad I’m no longer a part of this.

Watch out for these kinds of groups, they’re looking for you when you are in weakest state. Life can be a bitch.

music of the day: Shannon Wright